Got a new girlfriend, her name is ‘Char’ (short for ‘Charlene’).
About a week ago we were at an Aquarium (they needed me to perform emergency surgery on an injured porpoise and gave us free admission as a reward) and as we’re walking through the place, she turns to me and says:
“You know, when I was a kid I figured that if a fart were visible to the naked eye, it would probably be shaped like a manatee.”
Needless to say, she’s perfect for me. “Babe, you had me at ‘manatee-shaped flatulence’.”
True story.
Last 5 posts by Krogenar
- Olbermann and Dean Musings on ‘Fascism’ - March 27th, 2009
- More From Obama’s BFF - March 25th, 2009
- Obama Pushes for Expanded Powers - March 24th, 2009
- Favorite Movie Quote - March 23rd, 2009
- President Barack Obama’s Teleprompter Blog - March 19th, 2009
About the author. Krogenar is one of the admins of BuriedPlanet, and is contiguous with all space and time. Small children and animals trust him. When he mails letters without postage… they still get delivered. Read more from this author
lol! Good to hear your love life’s picked up.
I had a friend who believed the greatest good a man can achieve is to get married and have children. While I’m dating now, the prospect strikes a fear in me I can’t explain.
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Is it the prospect of being married, or the prospect of children? Or both? Me, I’m looking forward to it, frankly. I think I’d make a great Dad!
What makes me laugh a bit is the way my parents and grandparents handled the situation. Our generation asks deep questions about marriage and children, whereas previous generations of men say, “Yeah, well, I really liked your mother, so… we got married.” There was a lot less hand-wringing all around.
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Ok, I am certain you would make a great Dad, and a great Husband as well. I just pray I get to see that day before my head is all gray.
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I hope I’m not all gray myself! I would want to be the ‘crazy’ dad. Not like, you know, throw a keg party for all my kids’ friends kind of crazy. More of the, “Dude, is that you Dad in the outfield with the pom-poms?… He’s got a lot of school spirit, huh?” I would wear the mascot outfit, I really would. Then I would fake a heat stroke to get the cheerleaders to tend to me. The point of all this is that I would want to be an embarrassment to my children, whenever possible.
Also, I would love to be involved in Boy Scouts. But if I don’t have a son involved, well, then it just looks creepy. I’ve had this confirmed by others.
Hey kids. Krog, glad you have found someone with a similarly border-line obscene mind. And it just goes to show, you don’t have to be an environmentalist prophet to bring endangered species and gas into ordinary human conversations.
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What’s great is her comment was just the kind of flatula-related conjecturing I would probably have made as a child.
Also, she’s hot.
No… let me rephrase that. She hawt.
Anyway, enough about me — how have you been Marbleman?
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“Physical anthropology”? What’s that all about? You going to dig around in the dirt for a living?
(Sorry, just channeling my grandmother for a moment there.)
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Marbleman, I always suspected you might be ‘cool’, but a ’supervisor’ at an AppleCare tech support? That’s… that’s just wow. And to think I always figured they were unsupervised. What’s it like supervising slacker Apple-heads?
Marbleman: “Uh, Trevor, could you put your Moleskin hipster PDA away for a SINGLE SECOND and teach Mrs. Crabapple how to use a mouse? Please?”
(Trevor brushes his hair out of his eyes and rides off on his ‘Razor’ scooter, muttering ‘Fascist’…)
The Apple store I use in NYC has a distinctly ‘retro’ feel. They have a Coca-Cola machine that dispenses bottled soda for a nickel. There’s a marlin on the wall as well. Is that what your store looks like, Marbleman?
I guess what I’m asking is, “Do you have a ponytail?”
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I’m genuinely honored that you ask me to return, but I’m perma-banned. Besides, I’d prefer to let the GS stew in its own self-masturbatory political blandness. I was wronged, see? And ever since then it has fueled my badness. (looks stalwart)
I still read the threads once in a blue moon, but really, why should the liberal cretins of the GS benefit from my postings? Let the spectrum of acceptable political thought at that ‘wretched hive of scum and villainy’ resemble a silky smooth ocean of pudding — without a theme! I was the roasted nut, the crunchy oatmeal flake, the (what do they call them?) … the crunchy little chocolate thing(s) in their pudding, but no longer!
Like I said, the experience has fueled my badness.
Javen did alert me to a post of JediBendu’s asking why I was so ’silent’ on the apparent fall of capitalism in America, realizing full well I was banned and unable to crush his opinion into dust.
Ah, but what a joy to see JB deprived of his foil, eh? LOL!
Ask him if Cuban citizens still enjoy more political freedom than Americans for me, will ya? LOL, that one still cracks me up.
I’ll make you a deal though — if you find a post on the GS that you think deserves the ‘Krogenar’ treatment, post it here and I’ll respond. You can post my response over at the GS. My bet is that the admins wouldn’t allow it anyway.
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No, the world must be made politically dangerous for socialists, populists and their various hybrids. That means making the world safe for individuals. Unfortunately, we have more sincerely, boldly stupid people in America than ever before, and they vote overwhelmingly Democratic.
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Gosh I feel all such as Charlie Brown. I - me? I’m cool? Does this mean the little redhead girl likes me now?
I’m not going to lie - it’s a good job. I especially like the clean aesthetics, the uniforms, the jackboots, the rallies.
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I look like the main kid on the show Boy Meets World. Go ahead and Google that I’ll wait. Hate to disappoint, but no ponytail. I grew a beard once, but it was so whispy that spiders were jealous. In the end, there was an intervention, and I’ve remained painfully conventional ever since.
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During the Gaza Offensive awhile back, you (and most everyone) missed JB’s biggest faux pas yet. He must have been drunk and feeling self-righteous, and spewed out a steamy pile of anti-Semitism. He said that other countries should supply Hamas with weapons to “even the odds” in order to kill more of “the Israeli beasts” (or monsters, or something to that effect). I was just in time to see the post and respond, but I didn’t have the wits about me to save his statement elsewhere.
I came back an hour later and both his post AND my response were deleted. *slaps forehead* How unexpected. So I sniffed around, and apparently JB got banned for a WEEK. My post (which was fairly diplomatic) was a casualty in yet another display of JB protectionism. So even if people suspect JB is a bit of an ideologue, most people don’t know how vicious, hateful, and zany he really is.
Oh well. You were right after all - it is a Star Wars site, not a political forum. Like Uncle Owen, they don’t want any trouble.
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If memory serves, our last bet had the effect of causing general consternation.
. . .
It’s a deal.
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Cheer up, Krog. Maybe this period will allow conservatives to raise a beacon of fiscal responsibility. Well, I mean, any kind of responsibility would be appreciated. And maybe a beacon is a bit much - how about a sparkler? I think conservatism is at its most convincing when it is arguing for restraint and prudence, and against populism and (economic) alarmism.
Let’s just get to the point where whiny whiners can whine about the government being mildly corrupt, and the media can go back to obsessive coverage of missing plastic children.
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I hear Apple is coming out with G4 soon, or is it R4? LOL!
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My relief is palpable. Go ahead, palpate it.
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Laughable. I ponder if Western nations should reduce or altogether halt the further influx of Muslim immmigrants, and I’m labeled a ‘hatemonger’, etc. JB makes anti-Semitic remarks, endorses terrorism and remains a Mod, managing to get away with a minor wrist slap. My explanation for this is simple; either the mods of the GS (with the exception of Kope!) are hypocrits. Or, JediBendu has photos of T-Bone at a Klingon Language Camp. Maybe both?
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And they won’t know, thanks to the continuing whitewash from the GS mods. But we know.
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Rockin’. Just put the post somewhere I can get to it. Hey, maybe we can keep a ‘JB’s Greatest Hits’ post somewhere? We can publicly ask why the GS harbors such a fool?
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How about just ‘bacon’ — we’ll all be fighting over scraps of ‘bacon’ in back alleys if the Democrats remain in power? Yeah, let’s go with ‘bacon’ instead.
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I agree, so they should have a lot to talk about. But they’re so slow to respond as an organization it’s disheartening. They should be skewering the Democrats on the whole AIG ‘Take Back the Bonuses’ effort, on the basis that if we allow Congress to legislate post facto, then the Constitution might as well be printed on tissue paper. To quote Tina Turner in ‘Mad Max 3: Beyond Thunderdome’: “Bust a deal… face the wheel.” Even post-apocalyptic stragglers know that contracts must be upheld.
But conservatives in America right now are milquetoasts. And this concept is too complex for the average American to even understand anymore. To make it intellectually digestible would require a public relations adroitness that the conservative movement has not had since Reagan.
I’m curious to know how you feel about St. Barack’s progress so far.
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Well I still lean fiscally conservative, so naturally I distrust the stimulus Smoke and Mirrors game being played. But that’s part of the problem - most people feel intimidated by the sheer immensity of the crisis. I sympathize - economics was never my strong point either. But unfortunately, the public listens to whoever is loud and confident, while deliberation is seen as a luxury we can no longer afford.
We keep hearing: “Better do something than nothing!!!” Well, that assumption . . . that assumption is not serving us well, in politics or any other area of life, for that matter.
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Consider that the porkulus bill was passed without anyone being able to claim to have read it in its entirety, Marbleman. To me, that’s scary.
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I think you’ve got the sentiment of the country right, but keep in mind that St. Barack & Co. very clearly intimidated people. The President himself made the statement that if the porkulus bill was not passed immediately (without being read) that ‘America may never recover.’ That’s self-serving, that’s dishonest, that’s downright evil in my mind. The President of the United States should not be ramming a bill through Congress by terrifying people.
Second, I would say that you’re correct that for most American economics is not their ’strong suit’. But we’re not talking about very complex issues here — we’re talking about simple supply and demand, about contracts, basic ‘Wealth of Nations’ economics. It has always astounded me how many people benefit from the free market but how few really understand it. I suppose the same could be said about cellphones, electricity, etc.
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I wish I could be more positive right now, but I really think we’ve got a bumbling socialist fool for a president. He’s a rock star, not a president. Honestly, if you asked me to draft up a way to economically ruin the country, to do the maximum amount of damage possible, it would look a lot like what St. Barack is doing right now: keep changing the rules of business, inject capital into businesses that the market would allow to die, make economic decisions on the basis of populist politics, drive the country deeper into debt, demonize the business community with populist rhetoric, and finally, debase the dollar.
Obama is doing all of these things Marbleman.
He’s the worst president we’ve ever had.