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Explosions, car chases, rampaging dinosaurs, rambling existential discussions -- all are part and parcel of the action movie genre!

Film Review: Street Fighter: Assassin's Fist

Street Fighter: Assassin's Fist

This movie review was written under duress.

My best friend (and wayback Street Fighter sparring partner) Will of Will's Free Swim has been assailing me with near daily letters ever since the announcement that CapCom had greenlighted a (non-shitty) live-action Street Fighter web movie.

Will dared me to review the web series in the unlikely event that it didn't suck.

And here we are.

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Film Review: Godzilla (2014)

Godzilla is back!

And this time the film is 100% Matthew Broderick free!

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Film Review: Man of Steel

Man of Steel

 Krypton had its chance, so says the almost never-named Superman during one of his confrontations with General Zod in this new outing. From one point of view, you might agree with him; what place does Superman have in this modern world of gloomy, introspective Batmen and billion-dollar Avengers? Poor old Kal-El is too good, too god-like, too selfless and uncomplex to really grab. He is, for want of a better word, bland; even with his dead parents and lost world. He needs interesting villains and less interesting weaknesses to make his stories stand out.

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Film Review: The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey

The Hobbit:: An Unexpected Journey

The prequel to the Lord of the Rings trilogy films, The Hobbit tells the story of Bilbo Baggins, an unassuming hobbit who finds adventure with a group of dwarves on a quest to reclaim their ancestral home. Unsure of himself, Bilbo comes to realize that he's more adventurous than he ever realized.

Also starring Radagast the Brown Wizard.

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Film Review: The Bourne Legacy

The Bourne Legacy

A continuation of the Rodbert Ludlum-inspired universe first seen in The Bourne Identity; The Bourne Legacy stars Jeremy Renner as Aaron Cross, another member of the top secret government project known as TREADSTONE. Not a reboot of the original trilogy of films, this film references the events of the earlier films heavily. Flashy and action-packed, Renner carries the film, despite the now-leaden, predictable and boring premise.

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Film Review: Skyfall


This is Daniel Craig's third outing as Bond and drops the storyline which held his previous two films together, that of the Quantum organisation and its nefarious dealings around the globe. This time we have direct threats to M (Judi Dench, returning for the seventh time) and MI-6's very existence. These come variously from Silva (Javier Bardem), a person from M's past, and from the British Government, wearing the friendly face of Voldemort himself, Ralph Fiennes.

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Film Review: The Dark Knight Rises

Director Christopher Nolan completes his Batman franchise film trilogy, and we find Bruce Wayne (Christian Bale) living a recluse in 'stately Wayne Manor' -- where he has remained for the past eight years. He hobbles about on a cane, and guests to the various Wayne Family charity balls snigger that 'Wayne probably has eight-inch long fingernails and is filling jars with his own urine, like Howard Hughes!"

Bruce's faithful butler Alfred (the inimitible Michael Caine, whose accent is still hard to place) is glad Master Bruce has managed to 'stay out of that awful cave.' -- but he's constantly trying to get him back out into the world.

The world forces itself upon Bruce in the form of a terrorist named Bane (biceps provided by Tom Hardy) who wears a scary-looking mouthpiece, kills people, all while sounding like the narrator for 'Masterpiece Theater'. As usual, Batman wildly underestimates his nemesis, and pays the price.

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Film Review: Priest

Priest Poster

In an alternate reality Earth humans have battled vampires since the beginning of time. Humans, driven to the brink of extinction created a group of vampire-killing warriors called 'Priests' who eventually vanquished the vampires to Indian-like reservations. The wars between the two races has left the Earth a devastated wasteland. What remains of humanity lives on a dystopic mega-city ruled by the Church. The monsignors of the Church have disbanded the Priests and tried (unsuccessfully) to reintegrate them into society. Each Priest is marked with a telltale crucifix tattoo, and they're treated like Vietnam vets. That is, poorly. One priest (named 'Priest' -- played by Paul Bettany) forsakes his oath when he is forbidden from investigating the disapperance of his niece by a resurgent vampire threat.

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Film Review: Captain America: The First Avenger

Captain America Poster

After being deemed unfit for military service multiple times, 90-pound weakling Steve Rogers (Chris Evans) volunteers for a top secret research project that turns him into Captain America, a superhero dedicated to defending America's ideals.

Set during World War II, Rogers must battle military public relations agents, Nazis, and finally a threat far worse than even Hitler -- The Red Skull (Hugo Weaving) whose target is not Europe, but the world itself. Marvel continues to enhance their cinematic mileu with another worthy comic book adaptation.

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Film Review: Sucker Punch

Sucker Punch

When a young girl (Emily Browning) and her younger sister lose their mother to illness, they are subsequently abused by their stepfather. In an attempt to defend her younger sister, Baby Doll (Browning) fires a gun at her stepfather and inadvertantly kills her sister. She is sent to a mental institution where her stepfather puts her under the control of a corrupt orderly named Blue Isaac (Oscar Isaac) who pimps the girls out to wealthy clients. As Baby Doll listens to her stepfather and Blue Isaac discuss her 'future' she learns that she will be lobotomized in just five days time. She formulates an escape plan that requires her (and her new friends) to enter an alternate fantasy world and do battle with dragons, steampunk zombie Nazis and robots.

Movie Rating: 

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