Obama Re-Election Video

This is the 2-minute trailer for the 17-minute movie to be released on March 15th, titled 'The Road We've Traveled'. Narrated by Tom Hanks, it chronicles the Herculean tasks that President Obama has tackled in his first term as president. Kyle Smith, film reviewer at the New York Post remarked that the film could be titled: "Lights! Camera! Excuses!"

Follow the jump for my take on this.

The best part of all this is the soaring music, that happens to be just a few beats off from being the theme from Transformers or Inception. It's so ridiculous -- this is the music that should play as Superman shrugs off the kryptonite chains imprisoning him at the bottom of the Marianas Trench, and then rises into the atmosphere to split a potentially Earth-shattering asteroid in half.

So here's the Obama Administration's tack -- point out to everyone that back in 2008 the world was going to end, and thanks to Obama, the world has not ended. Unemployment remains over 9%, growth is anemic, gas prices have skyrocketed but dammit, we're still here!

Did you just hear Morpheus from the Matrix movies giving his stupid speech to the underground rave party in Zion? Must have been my imagination.

This is shades of Obama's dubious metric of 'jobs saved or created' -- so as long as some people still have jobs, those jobs were saved.

And the title is so ripe for lampooning ("The Road We've Traveled") that if Republicans don't lampoon it endlessly, and mercilessly, then we deserve to lose. My own completely off-the-cuff responses:

• "The Road We've Traveled." ---> "The Road Less Traveled." - $6 gas!
• "The Road We've Traveled." ---> "The Road: By Cormac McCarthy" is more like it.
• "The Road We've Traveled." ---> "The Road We Used to Travel" -- $6 gas!

And then there's the Road Warrior imagery that could be used... don't even get me started. Just Photoshop Obama's jug-eared face onto Mel Gibson's body, as he fights off a mob of barbaric street thugs, fighting over a tank of juice. It's just too easy.

You could just take the video itself and change the images!

The funniest part may be the Joe Biden part of the video, when he discusses Obama's decision to kill Osama. It has to be seen to be believed.

BIDEN: "As he walked out the room, it dawned on me: He's ALL ALONE. This is his decision. There's no one standing there with him."

Before trying to process this statement, you've got to ignore the fact that Biden said, "it dawned on me" -- I'm betting a lot 'dawns' on Biden, all the time.

(Interior shot: Biden in a room, with the wall behind him completely burnt.)
BIDEN: "And then it dawned on me -- flammable and inflammable mean essentially the same thing."

Anyway -- Obama is all ALONE? What about the intelligence services that found bin Laden? The SEALs who took him out? How fatuously vainglorious do you have to be to try to take sole responsibility for killing Osama? Was that really a difficult decision? I could have made the decision and thrown in a hip wiggle and some finger-snapping and a moonwalk just for some sizzle. I could have given the order while eating a slice of pepperoni pizza, mumbling it out.

Only the Obama Administration could make the hand-wringing over killing an arch-terrorist into some kind of quasi-heroism.

So, in a nutshell -- the Obamtons plan on revising 2008 to have been a moment when the world would have exploded into fragments, but Obama held it together. I mean, the fact that most of us are still alive at all is proof of Obama's greatness. So really, the title should be "The Road We Didn't Travel -- Thanks to Obama". So it's not what Obama achieved, it's what he prevented from happening.

It's the most audaciously smooth line of bullsh*t I've ever seen.