Real-Life 'Vault-Tec' Shelters Available!
The Fallout series of video games are known for mixing apocalyptic visions of the future with a dash of humor. In all of the games in the series the player assumes the identity of the 'vault dweller' -- an ordinary person who survived a nuclear holocaust by growing up in an underground shelter. In the games the vaults were created by a company called 'Vault-Tec' and their chirpy advertisements can be found littered throughout the Fallout games.
Now there's really a company that does what 'Vault-Tec' did in the games!
First, here's a fake promotional video from the fictional Vault-Tec company:
It's all very tongue-in-cheek, putting a happy face on the end of the world, but now you can actually pay to reserve a spot in an underground bunker! Robert Vicino has created a real estate venture called Vivos in which adults can pay $50,000 and be assured a living space in the underground bunker. Reading the site itself is hysterical.
Vivos will effectively be a modern day Noah’s Ark, while providing people with an “assurance of life”, versus life insurance. Vivos is a solution for the continuance of life, providing a "biosphere" to survive an Earth-devastating catastrophe. Without an equivalent fully equipped, supplied, virtually impenetrable and professionally staffed underground shelter, survival of most of the predictable and disastrous global scenarios is unlikely.
Staffed? Ok, wow. So, who wants to be the stewardess for an underground bunker for ... the rest of their lives?
A quick perusal of the Frequently Asked Questions revealed some interesting answers. For one, they claim to begin construction of a bunker only once they have sufficient members in a geographic area that could reach the bunker in the event of an emergency, and, they set up a cross-section of people for each shelter (plumbers, doctors, etc.) -- which makes sense, I suppose.
But these answers were the best:
What if someone “freaks out” and wants to leave the facility once it is locked down?
The security team within each facility will be capable of handling any situation that arises.
I don't want to be in a bunker with any hippies. That's my only pre-condition. They can't be trusted. But aside from the possibility of someone 'freaking out' there's an even better answer.
What if people don’t get along down there?
Human nature is to pull together in a time of crisis. The design and overall scale of each Vivos facility allows for optimum ‘personal space’, with plenty of private areas for members to retreat to. Should any member have difficulty getting along relationships evolve, they may relocate to different living quarters. While we cannot predict how the society will evolve, everyone will be well aware that their survival depends on cooperation, compassion and mutual effort. The alternative of being on the surface to face the realities of whatever nature or mankind has thrown upon us, would presumably be much grimmer.
Obviously, these people have never watched a single disaster movie in their lives. Not even one. There's always some idiot that wants to open the hatch, or hog all the food.
What about exiling someone to live on the surface? Is that possible? I vote we exile the hippies to live among the radioactive zombies that walk the Earth. That means more food and air for everyone else. I would declare martial law on Day Two after the apocalypse, style myself as Supreme Ruler, exile the hippies (except the sexy female hippies, they may remain as my consorts so long as they bathe in the recycled water) and then declare war on a neighboring bunker.
All I need is half of a football shoulder pad and I'm good to go. I know I would end up being strangled in my sleep by the hippie women... but ah, what a ride, right?
Seriously, though, isn't this hysterical? It's like selling zombie repellent spray to scared conspiracy theorists. It's funny, but also vaguely evil. I did not see an answer to the question -- "How long do I have to get to the bunker before 'lock-down'?" What about after one year? Then what?
To read my review of the latest Fallout game, click here.